Sometimes it's hard to follow Jesus...

Following Jesus is a doddle some days.

When life shines brightly, and the world feels good, and my neighbours are loveable I can be the Christian I long to be.

A Christ-follower with grace and patience, true to the Word, true to my beliefs, someone who strives to make the light of Christ visible in this dark and broken world.

Some days it's a doddle.

Yesterday it was excruciatingly difficult. Yesterday I failed, as I will doubtless fail again.
I have a son, Paulie. He has an intellectual disability that makes him trusting, open, a target for other people's treachery.

Paulie works fulltime on minimum wage as a trolley-pusher in a local supermarket. He saves his money to buy himself nice things, which he shares with others.

Paulie is a shining light.

Last night he opened his door to a man 'who didn't look like a robber' and let him use the phone.
The man left after stealing Paulie's call phone - a Treo which was his pride and joy.
Paulie phoned the police who were too busy to respond, then his dad and me.

I was mad. Mad as hell. Mad as a mother whose vulnerable child has been ripped off and disappointed. Did I love my neighbour the thief?

Hell no.

I sent him several texts telling him what a scumbag he was. I used very unchristian language, and railed against him. He returned my vitriol with interest. Anger responded to anger. I wasn't mad about the phone - it's just a thing. I was mad that I couldn't protect my son against the meanness in the world.

This morning, after prayer and a good night's sleep I am working on forgiveness.

Paulie will buy a new phone, a little sadder and wiser about the world, and I will work again on grace, and forgiveness and loving my neighbour.

There are days when following Jesus is a doddle. The true test of faith is following him just as closely and truly on those days when it is not.

Those days when we can't fathom other people's motives. Those days when life isn't fair. Those days when we don't get what we want, or deserve, or desire.

Forgive me Lord, on those rainy days, for this sinner is a work in progress.