Calling

What does God's call feel like? Look like, sound like, taste like, smell like?

Does it sometimes feel like a weightless certainty, and at others as urgent as two labrador puppies on a leash - busting to get going but not 100% sure which direction, just away, just acting, not standing still!

Is it sometimes a burden,and other times a joy? Sometimes almost clear, other times a mystery? Sometimes close and other times all-enveloping?

I have a call, an insistent, not always pleasant call.

'Feed my sheep, travel if you have you, but feed them! I don't need another pew-warmer. Time is short. GET MOVING!'

'But how, Lord? Alone? Do I need innoculations, a passport, a degree, a church to sponsor me? Could you tell me a bit more? Perhaps make some aspects clearer? Should I stay here, work in the community, feed the lambs whose language I speak and know?'

'You will know when you're doing it right, just DO IT. Time is short, the flock is hungry. Move!'

Or do I imagine it? Is this insistent urge just a fantasy, a hope that God finds me useful enough to speak to and encourage and whip into shape?

Meantime I squirm in the pew, pray for guidance, look at all the options, feel like I'm not doing enough. And the call, the insistent, urgent, GET OFF THE TRACKS call... help me to decipher it.... please.

Please help me in praying for guidance, and for clarity. I would have said patience too, but I feel the impatience does not come from me...